Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Lessons in Breaking Hearts

When you break someone's heart, you don't do it gently. There is no way of killing someone softly. Roberta Flack is a lying bitch.

When you break someone's heart, you don't do it slowly. You aim for the jugular and go for the quick kill. A quick and short dose of pain, however intense that pain may be, is always better than pain prolonged.

When you break someone's heart, make sure you don't come crawling back to that person, telling them you want them back. Don't let that person give you the chance to break them all over again.

When you break someone's heart, don't be a coward. Never treat your partner badly, with the aim of pushing them to be the one to break up with you. If you want out, man up and say it. Again, speed mitigates pain.

When you break someone's heart, don't tell them you're doing it because you love them. Look up "love" in a dictionary, and you'll see what I mean.

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